Final Thoughts

I have had alot of mixed feelings about the whole experience. Mostly, they are positive but the ScizoSpud sometimes comes out thinking about all I did and is still not happy. The main thing was the completion of my goals which ended up being more then just physical.

I started out with simple goals of 235lb and being ripped. The closer I got the less of possibility that became. Then, when I emailed Shelby and he gives me,"You don't know how much work 10% Bf will be and how much more 6-7% will be.” I think he threw in impossible, I can't remember at this moment. I had already decided to do it before that conversation he said I would not be able to do it but that just sealed the deal. No way I can leave it now especially from someone who had not known where I had been or what I was capable of. In my head, the doubts mounted from all the crazy Spuds talking all the time. We all get this in our lives and that is part of the problem with self esteem, believin’ in yourself, etc. There is always someone to shoot you down and tell you how impossible something is but mostly you are your own worst enemy. I guess he had seen it before so many times he just assumed. I stopped assuming along time ago. I remain upbeat whenever someone tells me what they want to do and do my best now to help them achieve their goals. I know they will fall from time to time and may quit altogether but it will not be from me shooting down their dreams(no matter what the dream is). And you never know who will rise to the occasion. This is one of biggest thrills in life. Right now, there is a guy who just joined my gym but he has been coming to my supplement store for months now. He started well over 400lb and is now around 275lb.He came in that Friday morning and saw me posing and the shape I was in. I didn't know if that triggered it or not but after the show I came back and saw him outside pulling the sled in the middle of the SC 100 degree weather. There was a look in his eye that was different and determined. I smiled inside already knowing the outcome of his suceess. He later came in and I yelled eye of the tiger across the gym I know it's corny but it was great for the moment. This is the guy who will finish or fall out doing so. I smile again knowing what has clicked in his head. Choice is the one of the greatest attributes of being human. Sometimes , we make bad ones and pay but here is always the opposite that opens any door you wish to walk through. You have to try all the doors to find it and that is what scares people the most.

Success is in actions taken. This is one of the most important things I learned from my experience. From the beginning the blinders went up and I plowed on. The first few months were easy but the weight loss was slow. I asked questions constantly of everyone, not just Shelby. He always pointed me in the right direction and the dreaded cardio that I eventually would embrace and hammer harder then I ever did in PL. Day by day, step by step I moved on. If you don't think about the future then the moment is not so hard. The mind will not allow this most of the time and we are constantly moving ahead or moving back to the past. Neither are possible in this moment. The battle waged on with this for me.

As the months wore on and the pace escalated, I found the action I had taken moved me to action in all aspects of my businesses. I bought a supplement store at the beginning of the diet with Shelby. I now had pulled myself out of my normal routine of training clients, going home to nap, coming back to train clients, and training myself. The wrench I had thrown in there was a huge one as the business I had bought needed alot of TLC and work.. work.. work. Gone was the going home and napping or if you want to look at it another way, my choice of inaction for years. I submerged myself in the store working most of the store hours myself and learning the supplement business. This would propel me in many other directions. I made contacts, I followed up, I moved other various direction with Spud Inc equipment and even my own line of kettlebells. This was one of the scarest ones because of the money and dealing with people in China I did not know. My desire to succeed and the drive from the weight loss battle pushed me to numerous places I was afraid to go to before. This would be the fear of failure and the opposite of the coin-the fear of success. In powerlifting, I talked about it a lot crippling other lifters. Well, it goes into any aspect of your life. I had overcome it in my lifting and coaching, but not in my business life, love life, spiritual life-all of it really. No matter the consequence, you have to take action to get the things in life you want. You will fall, but you will also get up and try again in another direction and eventually you will succeed.. This is one thing I want to get across to you the most.

Meantime, my leg healed nicely and I faced the reality of cardio to take the weight loss to the next level and the honing of the food intake. I began with 10-15 minutes of cardio daily on the bike. I endured the taunts of my team mates and the whole gym. Over the years, I had bashed cardio so much, that me being up there was the cat's meow for everyone. I went numb to it quickly as the fury, anger and anxiety mounted. My goal after I realized I would not 6%BF by my birthday would be set for the end of August no matter what. I had been building my cardio as I went and was up to 30/30 mins am pm 5 or 6 days a week. This changed to 45/30, then 60/30most of the time. the final one was 60/30 on med carb days and 60/50 on low days with one dayoff per week. I hated this but pushed on. I would shortly boost it to 60/50 everyday from May to August with some 3 hour total days thrown in.

It was during this phase that I had to set competition goals on my cardio to get ti done and keep me motivated. This was another great thing I learned. I had always set goals for each meet in PL but never for cardio. It was also at this time, my training would be second to my cardio and diet. Another concept I had to learn. Goals must be set all along the way. Systems must be in place to ensure goals are met. Oh, you have to actually check periodically that you are meeting your goals and if not your approach has to change.

I began to set goals on the stepmill and stairmaster. At first, I had comps with other members who were sick enough to hang with me on the stepmill. My first goals were increasing the levels and getting to 20 which is essentially running up the stepmill at full speed. I managed to get it to 20 one time until I almost fell off and had to jump off the sides. I still fought to get up there and would eventually get the 20 for about 20 seconds but my main focus shifted to time up there. First it was 45 mins, then 60 and finally it was 90mins, towards the end of it all I got 1 hour 50mins one day. This came and went fast so I moved back and forth with the stairmaster and some bike. This also went fast so I started sledding outside and challenging myself. The first one was with the Prowler for 5laps and 5 laps with the regular sled. Then it was 10 laps with the regular sled. Then it was 10 laps with the Prowler. This was totally insane and not necessary but I had to do it. It took a couple of hours. I was very proud until I decided to do 20 laps with the regular sled. This was the most insame thing I did the entire time as far as challenges are concerned. It took 2 hour 45 mins. Longer then I thought it would by 45 mins. More goals met which meant more had to be set-4 rounds comprising of 1 regualr belt pull, 1 prowler push, and 1 upperbody pull.

This was good and all but I was also not sleeping but about 2 or3 hours a night no matter what time I went to bed or how many sleeping pills/xanax I took I would lay down and pass out form exhaustion for 2 or 3 hours and then be wide awake at 130,230am. All I could do was be neurotic about the cardio and getting it down so I would jump up and haul ass to the gym to complete my cardio. This would also take it's toll on the Wife.

This is another thing I learned. You can not reach your goals without support from your friends and loved ones. They are the ones who believe in you the most. She endured alot of temper tantrums, anxiety and just plain asshole from me. I can not say enough about her. That is soft I know but it is what it is. My troops at the gym also took some beatings. They should there right beside me no matter what I did or said. I would not have succeeded without all their help and you have to recognize that. There are only so many sorrys you can dish out before you burn all your bridges. Luckily, they were all rebuilt even stronger because of the process. Thanks to all the people and the Wife for dealing with me on this Vision Quest only without the Peyote to get me high.

Details…details…details ..prep. work. I did more prep work on a daily basis then I have ever done in my entire life. Food prep, clothing prep, supplement prep.. These are all extras you are not told about along the way. You just have to do them. Two or three times a week you have to cook all your potatoes, meat , etc for daily requirements. Without this prep work, I would not have succeeded. There is no way to diet without food prep. It’s a lot of work. Cooking , packing knowing what day you are-low, med, high. Making sure you get your water in. Next, since you are doing two a days on cardio, there is no gong home to shower. You have to shower at the gym which means packing your clothes the night before-towel, clothes, razor-all of it. More detail and time set aside for prep work. I think you kind of understand the idea. Anything worth doing or having requires a lot of detail and prep work. Making it efficient is hard to do but after awhile it did get easier. This would transfers to a lot of my life. I would release the strangle hold on somethings in my businesses and allow them to be as they were. People will do their jobs if you allow them to and I increased my time and detail work on others that really mattered. I had to really. I had put them off so long or hid from them I had no choice but I also relished the opportunities as they started coming from taking action. The drive of this diet and all that went with it drove me in all directions.

The learning process. This is also one of the paramount things that I enjoyed. I have learned a lot more then I ever expected to. Not only from a nutrition standpoint but overall. The drive to finish and succeed pushed me in even more business directions. I began reading tons of marketing books, nutrition books, motivational books and spiritual books.. All of which I would not have done in the past. Reading these, require focus and action. It used to be all I would read would be training books. These applied to training of course and made me understand training much better but expanding into other areas increased my training knowledge even further then just the manuals. I know more about nutrition now which only enhances my training cycles and performance factors. I think marketing and business books have made me understand detail so much more that I want to increase my training knowledge through other outlets that before I would not have tried or pursed. I plan on doing a couple of meet next year, but I want focus on learning a new route that I have hot tried yet to get there. It will be a great process and I have already started spinning the thread for that story. There are many paths. We will see where it leads me.


So what is my final verdict. I have been asked numerous times would I do it again knowing the outcome. Being in a speedo on stage was not the goal but it was part of the process, as was several coats of protan, comp tan and Pam cooking oil to make the muscle pop out in the light, the two days of dying of thirst literally, and carb loading all day with no water and rice cakes, pb and sweet potatoes enduring 2 hours of cardio daily for months on end, no real meals for 10 months, the 30lb bloat one week out from the show, the anxiety of sleep deprivation, the constant and irritating child in my head yammering nonstop and whining about everything and throwing temper tantrums just to name a few-the answer is yes, I would do it all again. I lost a 109lbs total, dropped all my medications, my allergies all but dried up, my back stopped cramping, I can walk more then 10 feet without having to sit down., my quad and shoulder are 100% and that is related to the weight loss. My frame of mind about doing things is totally changed. As a matter of fact, my whole life is better. I guess a way to describe it would be like Dante’s Inferno. If you have read this, then you understand. If you have not, it’s something you should do. It’s a hard read but the gist is going through all the rings of purgatory, then hell itself to find his way into heaven. Along the way he endures all tortures of hell both mental and physical. He is tested continuously and there are points where you think he will break but he does not. In the end, it is just him battling himself and his own demons. This is sort of how I would describe my experience. Everything I did to myself and everything I learned was about myself. Find the journey that transforms you.